Tuesday, August 7, 2007

close encounter with educator types

it all started one sultry morning when child unit left english textbook behind. i was clearing up, and casually opened to lesson one:

The Boy Who Served His Tribe

Long, long ago, there was a family of the Chippewa tribe, who lived in a wigwam in the woods of North America.

(although i barfed upon seeing the heading style, i settled down to read. i like stories of long long time ago...oh whaat? a family of the Chippewa tribe? i thought the word 'tribe' meant lots of families living together in a cluster of wigwams. maybe i had become old, and this was meant for grade five kids. so i read on...)

Mother and father, brother and sisters were all very happy and contented, for they loved the good things of the Earth. They loved the sunshine, the forests and the cool springs of water. But they were often cold and hungry, for at this time, the Chippewa people did not know about growing corn. Instead, they lived only by hunting.

Now, when the boys of this tribe reached the age of fourteen, it was the custom for them to go into some lonely place, without food, so that they could be alone for several days and think about the life which lay ahead of them.

The time came for the eldest son of the family to carry out this custom

'Come with me, my son,' said his father. The two of them walked far out into the woods together. There the father built a little wigwam for his son.

'You will be here for seven days without food,' he told the boy. 'At the end of that time, I will return for you and bring you food. While you are here, you should pray to the Great Spirit that he will send you a gift; a gift for the whole tribe.'

Left alone, the boy sat for a while, and thought. What should he pray for during the week's fast?

Perhaps he should pray that his tribe would win glory in battle. Or should he pray that they should enjoy good hunting, or be sent great wealth?

'No,' he thought. He would ask only that life for his tribe be made less hard. And so he began to pray to the Great Spirit.",

___________________________________________

i know instinctively that something is wrong here. grammatically, that is, but it has been years since i looked up anything in Wren & Martin.

so i look at rewriting the page. it looks something like this:


Long, long ago, in the woods of North America, there lived a family of the Chippewa tribe.They built wigwams to live in and were happy and contented, loving the good things of the Earth. They loved the sunshine, the forests, and the cool springs. But the Chippewa people often went hungry because they did not know how to grow corn or wheat for food, they lived only by hunting.

It was a custom among the Chippewa to send the boys who had just turned fourteen, to the lonely place for seven days, so that they could fast and pray to the Great Spirit, and learn to face the harsh life ahead of them.

It was time for the eldest son of this family to carry out this tradition. His father took him to the forest, built him a little wigwam, and told him what he was to do.

"You are to stay here, my son," he told the boy. "Pray to the Great Spirit, and ask him to bless our tribe. After seven days I shall come back for you with food."

____________________________________________

now that i was reading, i thought i should figure out what was wrong with the text. here are some of my thoughts.

1) The story has been written in a script format, a style meant for a story-teller to learn, so that the tale could be told, rather than read. There is a vast difference between a story written for reading and one written for reading aloud. For example, the alliterative use of 'life that lay ahead', on the face of it, there is nothing wrong grammatically, but this is wasted because it is wordy; 'life ahead' is just as meaningful.

2) Grammar check: the word 'life' is a singular noun, it conflicts with the verb 'lay'.

3) The story plays havoc with the tenses. The usage words 'at this time' is 'current' which conflicts the story that begins with 'long long time ago there WAS...'
Also I shuddered to read: 'for at this time, they did not know about growing corn'. To place 'at this time' which implies present tense, with 'did not know', which is past perfect (as it implies knowledge from the past), with 'about growing corn' which is present continuous tense, and everyone knows that there is no such thing is present continuous.

4) Americanisms abound! I understand that this is an American story, but it is poor use of language indeed to say 'about growing corn' instead of simply saying 'how to grow corn' which would also make the tense correct.

5) Similarly, the usage of the word 'custom'. Customs are followed, traditions are carried out.

6) The use of single quotes is prevalent now, but it is NOT acceptable when you are teaching children grammar.

This is but the beginning of the story...

___________________________________________

i was aghast. who is this Nicholas Horsburgh, and why is Oxford Reading Circle (book 5) prescribed reading for fifth graders? child unit had been through Harry Potter books. why was the school dumbing down their reading?

i went to the next few stories, just to assure myself that it was just my imagination...

for your reading pleasure, here are the next few stories. correction. the beginning few paragraphs of the next few stories:

_____________________________________________


The boy with an answer

Raman was a bright boy, but he was also very mischievous. He lived many years ago in a small village in the kingdom of Vijaynagaram in South India. Since he was an only child, his mother loved him very dearly. You could say that he was pampered too much and became a spoilt child. But Raman had a quick wit and this helped him to make friends and get along in life.

At that time, the ruler of the kingdom of Vijaynagaram was a mighty king called Krishna Deva Raya. He was a fine and powerful ruler, and at his court there were many famous musicians, artists, and other wise and skilful people.

Raman lived in a small village called Tenali. There was a school in the village, but Raman's mother thought that the other boys at school would harm her dear little boy. So she did not go to school. And that suited him fine! He would wander about all day, and be cheeky to whoever he liked! Of course, not being at school made Raman quite lazy.
_____________________________________________

Nicholas Horsburgh has never heard of structure, obviously. the story is going all over the place.
It goes backwards and forwards. It does not even begin in the traditional way, as in: 'Long long time ago' or 'Once upon a time'...The village is mentioned, but not its name. The name of the village comes in the third paragraph. The kingdom of Vijaynagaram is mentioned twice, the name of the king comes in the second paragraph.

The story sends confusing signals about Raman: he is bright, but mischievous; he is loved dearly, but is pampered and spoilt; he wanders about all day, but is lazy; he is cheeky but as the first statement says, he was bright.

Moreover, how is this statement true: Not being at school made Raman lazy? I think not going to school makes children stupid, not lazy.

Amar Chitra Katha on Tenali Raman has this very same story. And it has been better told.

_____________________________________________

The poet and the jester

Raman grew up and did become a famous poet. His name was spread far and wide and his friends often told him to go to the court of the king, Krishna Deva Raya, to seek a job there. The king would pay him well and look after him because that is exactly what the king used to do. In his court there were many wise and skilful people and they were all looked after well.

Raman, or Tenali Raman, as he was now known as, thought that this was a great idea. However, he did not know how he could get into the court of the king.

Then, one day. A man called Tathachari, who was very close to the king, came to a place near Tenali. Raman's friends told Raman about this man.
...
Raman thanked Tathachari most gratefully.

_________________________________________
Help me out here, people!

Shouldn't each story in the book be able to stand on its own? Even if it is a second story about Tenali Raman. What sort of introduction is this!

The usage if 'did'.' Raman grew up to be a famous poet' is a good enough sentence. The moment the verb 'did' is added, i am forced to ask, "Was there a doubt that he would not be a famous poet upon growing up?"

The word famous implies well-known. You do not need to say 'name was spread far and wide'. Besides, saying 'name was spread far and wide is as colloquial as 'what is your good name'

'This is exactly what the king used to do'?! I would be shocked if you asked me what was wrong with the sentence.

And exactly what kind of English is 'as he was now known as'? Or 'came to a place near Tenali'? or Raman thanked him most gratefully'?

_____________________________________________

The toad's warts

From time to time, we all ask the question 'why?': Why is the sky blue? Why are leaves green? Why do people grow old and die? Why does the Sun shine? Why this? Why that? Why the other?
Some of you may have wondered why the back of a toad is covered with warts. Well, your question will be answered, in this folk tale from Myanmar...

_____________________________________________

oh mah deah gawd! this is an introduction to a story? what is the need for this introduction? Could the story simply start by saying: Here is an amusing little tale from Myanmar?

so you have an Introductory paragraph. it begins by addressing the story to 'we', and it changes to 'you' in the second paragraph.

but i had lost it. no longer did the rain make me want to snuggle up and read. it made me want to get a hold of nicholas horsburgh and punish him with paper cuts. but there was a niggling doubt, so i turned to the beginning of the book, where the editor signs his name to the introduction.

That is when i felt that 'death by paper cut' was too lax a punishment.


The Introduction of the book itself was not without errors. It promised that the book will encourage the pupils to 'delve deeper into the glorious world of English literature'. I would be surprised if the children want to read anything at all after this travesty of what is praised to be a carefully chosen 'treasure trove of stories'.

The stories have 'Value based themes'? Please read the Tenali Raman story where it is implied that you could be cheeky and lazy and pampered and spoilt but you could grow up to be famous poet!

The same section says: Vocabulary and structures have been controlled throughout.'

'Structures'?

Enough said.

so i counted to ten and then wore out the living room carpet down to threadbare.

(drumroll!)

i decided i was going to be a proactive parent. so i googled Oxford University Press (http://www.oup.com/) and hit the 'contact us' button, without barfing at the profound promises they make on their landing page.

i wasn't sure, such a big publishing company was ever going to answer, so i wrote to the principal of the school and the curriculum director (yes! such creatures exist these days!). someone was bound to take responsibility!

i complained:

Dear Sir/Madam,

The Oxford Reading Circle (book 5) is riddled with errors in grammar as well as usage of the English language.

It's a pity that the mistakes begin with the introduction to the book itself.

Since the book is prescribed by the government, I can only begin by registering a protest with you. However, you can be assured that unless you tell me how the mistakes will be rectified (and before this academic session is over), I would be forced to make the glaring errors public.

disappointed parent,

Manisha Lakhe

_____________________________________________

i received mail in the next two days! and that too from lord panjandrum himself!

_____________________________________________

On 7/13/07 (email address) wrote:
This is in reference to your complaint regarding Oxford Reading Circle. Our editors will revert to you in due course.

Ranjan Kaul
Publishing Director
Sent from BlackBerry® on Airtel

the mail was addressed to yours truly and a lady called Sutapa"

_____________________________________________

i decided to be helpful, and send the whole bunch of queries and comments to both Ranjan Kaul and Sutapa Basu. they were prompt as before. i thought it was time to believe. there was a god.

_____________________________________________

Dear Manisha Lakhe,

Thank you for your mail, which I will share with our editors and author. As of now, I would like to only mention that Oxford Reading Circle is a literature course, where the attempt is to retain the orginal writings of the respective authors. It is not a language course. At the same time, I do understand your concerns, and will try to send you a detailed reply once we have examined your mail in detail.

Do bear with us till then.

Ranjan

Ranjan Kaul
Educational and Higher Education
Publishing Director
Oxford University Press
1st Floor, YMCA Library Building
Jai Singh Road
New Delhi 1100 01 India

(tel. no)
( fax)
( email)

_____________________________________________

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

literature has got nothing to do with language?

please note his title. will someone explain to me what is 'educational and higher education'?

i wrote to my school principal and the curriculum director, who hid behind corporate waffle that said something like: the education ministry suggests 100 text books and we just chose the most reputable publisher, but in ten pages. (that is another story!)
_____________________________________________

dear lina, vandana and all you marvelous friends who have supported me in my quest for bringing a positive change in the way English is taught.

please read this mail i received from Oxofrd Univ. Press.

i have been hugely amused and aghast at the same time. did not know that using a language had nothing to do with literature. but rest assured i shall persuade this to the bitter end. if not my son, then some other child will benefit next year.

regards,

manisha

_____________________________________________

Lina Asher and Ms.Vandana are smart cookies. they knew they had run into a 'mad mommy force'. they promptly had the book removed from the curriculum and the kids started on something called Wisdom of Words. i have not dared to touch the new book.

but Oxford University Press obviously had not heard of my triumph at school. this is next exchange of email:

_____________________________________________


"Kumar, Neetu"
to me

Jul 20

Dear Ms Lakhe

This is further to Ranjan Kaul’s email to you. We have discussed your suggestions with our editors and the author. As indicated to you earlier, since this is a Literature Reader series, a conscious attempt has been made to expose learners to a variety of language styles including “Americanisms”. In this it is possible that a few styles used may not find favour with a section of readers but many of the stories used are by well-known writers and have been enjoyed by children the world over. It is for this reason that they have been included.

At the same time, we welcome all constructive criticism and it is our constant endeavour to make improvements. Where possible, your suggestions will be taken on board in the next revision.

In the meanwhile, we would appreciate if you can send us a list of glaring grammatical errors at your convenience.

We thank you for your interest in the series.

With best wishes
Neetu Kumar

Neetu Kumar
Publishing Editor-ELT
Oxford University Press
YMCA Library Building
Jai Singh Road
New Delhi 110001
India
(telephone)
(fax)
(e-mail)

_____________________________________________

it was bad enough that politicians were changing history text books to suit their own agenda. but now publishers want parents to play vigilante and help edit text books? whose job is it anyway?

_____________________________________________

5 comments:

SUNITI JOSHI said...

Hello! I always thought that the editors needed to be at least MA with english Lit.! I sentence them to be pelted with wren and Martin till death.
Wonderful reading- as always :)

Jugal said...

Err... one thing... I think you should've written it in proper english correctness. This sounds a little self contradicting, hence less impact :)

Nick Horsburgh said...

Tuesday October 2, 2007
 
Ms Lakhe!
 
It all started when I heard from someone that you had made some comments about me on your Blog.
 
I felt I should respond, since you have made some scurrilous comments about me, about OUP and about life in general!
 
My comments below are in normal type: yours are in bold.
 
NH
______________________________________________________________________
Tuesday August 7, 2007
it all started one sultry morning when child unit left english textbook behind. i was clearing up, and casually opened to lesson one:


 
The Boy Who Served His Tribe


Long, long ago, there was a family of the Chippewa tribe, who lived in a wigwam in the woods of North America.


 
(although i barfed upon seeing the heading style, i settled down to read. i like stories of long long time ago...oh whaat? a family of the Chippewa tribe? i thought the word 'tribe' meant lots of families living together in a cluster of wigwams. maybe i had become old, and this was meant for grade five kids. so i read on...)


 
This is a stereotypical view of ‘tribe’.
The term can be used to refer to any non-western or indigenous society. So it is like saying: a family of the dombara caste.
barf: US slang
______________________________________________________________________
 
Mother and father, brother and sisters were all very happy and contented, for they loved the good things of the Earth. They loved the sunshine, the forests and the cool springs of water. But they were often cold and hungry, for at this time, the Chippewa people did not know about growing corn. Instead, they lived only by hunting.


 
Now, when the boys of this tribe reached the age of fourteen, it was the custom for them to go into some lonely place, without food, so that they could be alone for several days and think about the life which lay ahead of them.


 
The time came for the eldest son of the family to carry out this custom


 
'Come with me, my son,' said his father. The two of them walked far out into the woods together. There the father built a little wigwam for his son.

 
'You will be here for seven days without food,' he told the boy. 'At the end of that time, I will return for you and bring you food. While you are here, you should pray to the Great Spirit that he will send you a gift; a gift for the whole tribe.'


 
Left alone, the boy sat for a while, and thought. What should he pray for during the week's fast?


 
Perhaps he should pray that his tribe would win glory in battle. Or should he pray that they should enjoy good hunting, or be sent great wealth?


 
'No,' he thought. He would ask only that life for his tribe be made less hard. And so he began to pray to the Great Spirit.",
 

___________________________________________


 
i know instinctively that something is wrong here. grammatically, that is, but it has been years since i looked up anything in Wren & Martin.


______________________________________________________________________
 
You had better do so. Your instincts are rusty.
______________________________________________________________________
 
so i look at rewriting the page. it looks something like this:



 
Long, long ago, in the woods of North America, there lived a family of the Chippewa tribe.
 
They built wigwams to live in and were happy and contented, loving the good things of the Earth. They loved the sunshine, the forests, and the cool springs. But the Chippewa people often went hungry because they did not know how to grow corn or wheat for food, they lived only by hunting.


 
It was a custom among the Chippewa to send the boys who had just turned fourteen, to the lonely place for seven days, so that they could fast and pray to the Great Spirit, and learn to face the harsh life ahead of them.


 
It was time for the eldest son of this family to carry out this tradition. His father took him to the forest, built him a little wigwam, and told him what he was to do.


 
"You are to stay here, my son," he told the boy. "Pray to the Great Spirit, and ask him to bless our tribe. After seven days I shall come back for you with food."


 
______________________________________________________________________
 
You have left out the most important part of the father’s instruction: to pray for a gift for the whole tribe (which is the point about ‘growing corn’), and the whole point of the story.
 
You are surprised at the use of the word ‘tribe’ and ‘family’ in the same sentence, but your version contains:
Long, long ago, in the woods of North America, there lived a family of the Chippewa tribe.
 
______________________________________________________________________
 
now that i was reading, i thought i should figure out what was wrong with the text. here are some of my thoughts.


 
1) The story has been written in a script format, a style meant for a story-teller to learn, so that the tale could be told, rather than read. There is a vast difference between a story written for reading and one written for reading aloud. For example, the alliterative use of 'life that lay ahead', on the face of it, there is nothing wrong grammatically, but this is wasted because it is wordy; 'life ahead' is just as meaningful.


 
What is wrong with a ‘script format’? Yes, there is a vast difference between the oral tradition and the written. However, the teacher could get the pupils to shut their eyes and listen. Perhaps they will hear the alliteration and the music in the spoken word! But with the ‘wordiness’ taken out, the music too will be gone.
 
If it is ‘just as meaningful’ to use the phrase ‘life ahead’, then the phrase used by the author. ‘life that lay ahead’ is meaningful too. It was the author’s choice. This may not be your choice. Choice distinguishes one author from another!
 
______________________________________________________________________
 
2) Grammar check: the word 'life' is a singular noun, it conflicts with the verb 'lay'.


 
‘Grammar check’ sound very professional, and some might be most impressed.
 
What does this mean? — conflicts with the verb ‘lay’
In what way does the word ‘life’ conflict with the verb ‘lay’?
Examples of correct usage:
It is time for them to think about the work that lies ahead.
It was time for them (then) to think about the work that lay ahead.
…. so that they could be alone for several days and think about the life which lay ahead of them.


Absolutely nothing grammatically wrong here with the ‘life’ and ‘lay’ part, but the author should perhaps have used ‘that’ instead of ‘which’.
 
______________________________________________________________________
 
3) The story plays havoc with the tenses. The usage words 'at this time' is 'current' which conflicts the story that begins with 'long long time ago there WAS...'
Also I shuddered to read: 'for at this time, they did not know about growing corn'. To place 'at this time' which implies present tense, with 'did not know', which is past perfect (as it implies knowledge from the past), with 'about growing corn' which is present continuous tense, and everyone knows that there is no such thing is present continuous.


 
The story does not play havoc with the tenses at all!
There is nothing wrong, grammatically or otherwise, with using the expression ‘at this time’ when speaking of events in the past. This is the story-teller’s prerogative, and literature abounds with examples of this usage.
 
Comments on your use of language and your interpretation of grammar:
 
‘which conflicts the story’.
Sure you don’t mean ‘conflicts with the story’?
 
To place 'at this time' which implies present tense, with 'did not know', which is past perfect (as it implies knowledge from the past), with 'about growing corn' which is present continuous tense, and everyone knows that there is no such thing is present continuous.


Your sentence above is incomplete. It lacks a main verb and a predicate.
 
‘…there is no such thing is present continuous.’
Presumably you meant ‘as present continuous’.
 
….with 'did not know', which is past perfect
‘did not know’ is certainly not the past perfect! ‘did’ is the past tense of ‘do’.
 
______________________________________________________________________
 
4) Americanisms abound! I understand that this is an American story, but it is poor use of language indeed to say 'about growing corn' instead of simply saying 'how to grow corn' which would also make the tense correct.


 
There is nothing wrong with using Americanisms, and funnily enough the author happens to be American. Americanisms are used in India all the time, including the word ‘barfed’ which is the US slang for ‘vomitted’.
 
It is not poor use of language to say ‘about growing corn’. ‘about growing corn’ has nothing to do with the present continuous tense! The word ‘growing’ is used here as a gerund (or verbal noun) and the expression ‘growing corn’ could be replaced with any other noun. e.g. …they did not know about Ms lakhe…. They knew nothing about barfing. They knew nothing about marbles. They knew nothing about climbing mountains. They knew nothing about growing corn!
 
5) Similarly, the usage of the word 'custom'. Customs are followed, traditions are carried out.


custom: usual practice; established usage having the force of law
tradition: opinion or belief or custom handed down
The usage is acceptable, and it was the author’s choice.
 
6) The use of single quotes is prevalent now, but it is NOT acceptable when you are teaching children grammar.

This is but the beginning of the story...


 
This is an editorial policy, and along with the hyphen, the use of double quotes may soon be a thing of the past. This has nothing to do with grammar, but punctuation.
___________________________________________


 
i was aghast. who is this Nicholas Horsburgh, and why is Oxford Reading Circle (book 5) prescribed reading for fifth graders? child unit had been through Harry Potter books. why was the school dumbing down their reading?


 
i went to the next few stories, just to assure myself that it was just my imagination...


 
for your reading pleasure, here are the next few stories. correction. the beginning few paragraphs of the next few stories:


 
No comment about dumbing down; there is enough evidence to suggest that it is widely prevalent!
 
_____________________________________________



 
The boy with an answer


 
Raman was a bright boy, but he was also very mischievous. He lived many years ago in a small village in the kingdom of Vijaynagaram in South India. Since he was an only child, his mother loved him very dearly. You could say that he was pampered too much and became a spoilt child. But Raman had a quick wit and this helped him to make friends and get along in life.


 
At that time, the ruler of the kingdom of Vijaynagaram was a mighty king called Krishna Deva Raya. He was a fine and powerful ruler, and at his court there were many famous musicians, artists, and other wise and skilful people.


 
Raman lived in a small village called Tenali. There was a school in the village, but Raman's mother thought that the other boys at school would harm her dear little boy. So she did not go to school. And that suited him fine! He would wander about all day, and be cheeky to whoever he liked! Of course, not being at school made Raman quite lazy.

 
_____________________________________________


 
Nicholas Horsburgh has never heard of structure, obviously. the story is going all over the place.

 
Structure has nothing to do with the way in which a story is constructed, but refers generally to the structure of a sentence. And yes, I have heard of structure!
It goes backwards and forwards. It does not even begin in the traditional way, as in: 'Long long time ago' or 'Once upon a time'...The village is mentioned, but not its name. The name of the village comes in the third paragraph. The kingdom of Vijaynagaram is mentioned twice, the name of the king comes in the second paragraph.


 
What is wrong in going backwards and forwards? Must every story begin in the same way and continue in the same pattern? How boring this would be!
 
The story sends confusing signals about Raman: he is bright, but mischievous; he is loved dearly, but is pampered and spoilt; he wanders about all day, but is lazy; he is cheeky but as the first statement says, he was bright.


 
Raman was indeed a confusing character. All the signs were that he would amount to nothing, but just look what happened to him! He learnt something, even though he was cheeky, mischievous, pampered and spoilt, just like many other darling children; and one day he became a great poet. How splendid! And what a triumph for education (albeit outside the environs of a school)!
 
Moreover, how is this statement true: Not being at school made Raman lazy? I think not going to school makes children stupid, not lazy.


 
To the contrary, the statement is very true. The statement implies that Raman should have been in school, and then he would have had some work to do, and would not have been so lazy. Many thousands of children in India do not go to school. They are certainly not stupid. And they are not lazy, either. It’s just that Raman needed some stimulation, which he was not getting, poor chap.
 
Amar Chitra Katha on Tenali Raman has this very same story. And it has been better told.


Keep reading the comics! They are good for the soul.
_____________________________________________


 
Commenting on the rest of the text extracts and your understanding of grammar will be a serious waste of my time. I have a life to live. However, before I move on to the correspondence with OUP, there is one further point I would like to make about what you said in your preamble.
 
it made me want to get a hold of nicholas horsburgh and punish him with paper cuts.
…….
That is when i felt that 'death by paper cut' was too lax a punishment.



 
It saddens me to know there are people out there who have so much pent up frustration that they wish to harm others. Such hatred, venom and self-aggrandizement is not likely to make the world a better place! I am amazed that you have posted such vituperative comments on the internet. Some people have been put away for far less.
_____________________________________________


 
COMMENTS ON YOUR CORRESPONDENCE WITH OUP.
 
You relate how you contacted OUP:
 
‘without barfing at the profound promises they make on their landing page.’
 
Why denigrate good intentions, and why such mistrust?
 
‘so i wrote to the principal of the school and the curriculum director (yes! such creatures exist these days!).’
 
Again, you seem to have a very poor opinion of a lot of people, including curriculum directors!
 
email of July 10, 2007 to OUP
 
‘However, you can be assured that unless you tell me how the mistakes will be rectified (and before this academic session is over), I would be forced to make the glaring errors public.

 
Why the threats? Is it because your child (unit) was being subjected to Americanisms and alliteration? (And are you really bothered? You point out later in your Blog that ‘have not dared to touch the new book’!)
 
i received mail in the next two days! and that too from lord panjandrum himself!


 
Again, why belittle a man who has the title ‘Publishing Director? That is his job designation. He has one, you don’t.
_____________________________________________


 
i decided to be helpful, and send the whole bunch of queries and comments to both Ranjan Kaul and Sutapa Basu. they were prompt as before. i thought it was time to believe. there was a god.


 
Me too! But it has been difficult while reading your Blog.
 
_____________________________________________


 
You send OUP your email with comments about the book.
 
13 July, 2007. Ranjan Kaul wrote back.
 
Your comments about his very polite email:
 
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


literature has got nothing to do with language?


please note his title.
Your comment about the Curriculum Director:
 
the curriculum director, who hid behind corporate waffle ….
 
All very tasteless and denigrating. This tells us little about the people commented upon, but oceans about the person making the comments.
 
_____________________________________________


 
You write to Lina and Vandana — presumably people (with designations) who work at the school — and you include this letter on your blog:
 
dear lina, vandana and all you marvelous friends who have supported me in my quest for bringing a positive change in the way English is taught.


please read this mail i received from Oxofrd Univ. Press.


i have been hugely amused and aghast at the same time. did not know that using a language had nothing to do with literature. but rest assured i shall persuade this to the bitter end. if not my son, then some other child will benefit next year.


regards,


manisha


 
My, how proud you must have felt. A cockerel crowing at dawn could not have sounded better. And what a magnanimous gesture you made in assuring them that you will ‘persuade this to the end’. They may have been inclined to think more highly of your promise, if you had said ‘pursue’ instead.
_____________________________________________


 
Lina Asher and Ms.Vandana are smart cookies. they knew they had run into a 'mad mommy force'. they promptly had the book removed from the curriculum and the kids started on something called Wisdom of Words. i have not dared to touch the new book.


 
Smart cookies, yes. (They will appreciate the Americanism in your choice of words.) They are smart. By taking this action they will have some peace, and a little less aggravation from you. But, why not look into the Wisdom of Words? Was this crusade not about unit child getting a better deal? The new book maybe far worse! God forbid.
 
You go on to say on your Blog…..
 
‘but Oxford University Press obviously had not heard of my triumph at school. this is next exchange of email:’


 
…and you insert a very polite response from Neetu Kumar.
 
Leaving aside the lack of a definite article in the second sentence, by calling Neetu Kumar  ‘Kumar, Neetu’ you think you have made an amusing comment, and your friends reading this Blog will titter. Neetu is a very pleasant young lady, and there was no need to try and score points and at the same time poke fun at yet another stranger.
And the cockerel crows in triumph, yet again!
_____________________________________________



 
Neetu wrote to you on 20 July. And you commented:
 
it was bad enough that politicians were changing history text books to suit their own agenda. but now publishers want parents to play vigilante andhelp edit text books? whose job is it anyway?

 
And, speaking of an agenda, here lies the rub. You conveniently forgot to put one particular communication on your Blog. I wonder why.
 
13 July, 2007-10-02 Your email to Ranjan Kaul.
Subject: Re: Re your mail reg Oxford book
 
thank you for your immediate reply. i cannot reiterate how important it is to look at the grammar and the structure of the stories.
 
i have been called grammar nazi in the past. however, i understand that the language has evolved over the years but i do not believe our children deserve a hotchpotch in the name of structure and grammar.
 
to help you understand my desperation, i have enclosed an attempt to repair the first few paragraphs of the first six stories. also the blogging community have agreed to help in my endeavor, in case your staff is unable to deal with this book immediately.
thank you
manisha lakhe
 
Is this the same panjandrum about whom you spoke earlier? Has this creepy tone, which you now adopt while addressing him, been brought about because you have some other motive? Do you actually admit to being called a Nazi of any description? Surely you are not proud of such a designation? And by any chance, are you looking for work? I am sure your blogging community ‘friends’ knew all about this from the start! And do you always end your communications with a threat?
 
I now see very clearly:
how you denigrate people you do not know,
how you manipulate and bully by intimidation,
how you couldn’t really care less about what is in a textbook, and will look into one only when you can see the possibility of getting some work, or when you see a way of vilifying another for the sheer pleasure of doing so,
how your English is riddled with mistakes in punctuation, grammar and syntax – showing how little you know of grammar,
how you condemn users of Americanisms but use them yourself,
how little you think of people with job designations, and how you are condescending towards them,
and, above all, how you view life!
 
And the saddest thing of all is that, in good faith (trusting in you, or perhaps to save themselves further bother from the 'mad mommy force'), the authorities at your child’s school have dropped the books. What a shame. And this is the real travesty.
 
I think it is clear that you should get unit child to look more closely at Amar Chitra Katha, or, better still, try to fathom some of your poetry (?) or even your prose, perhaps. You may want to start him off with some of your own works. How about these?
 
From 'For the girls':
 
heartache for a lover,
lost to a woman
who had never known
chafing.
she had a gap
between her thighs.
and an IQ that matched
her shoe size…
 
the coffee machine
signals. it’s time
to save the girls.
 
mix pink pajamas
and dark Arabica
get bleary-eyed questions:
“where were you?”
“what’s with the smile?”
“please don’t say
Krishna saves.
what do i care for savings
when my current account feels so fucked?”
 
From 'Tequila Sunrise, Really!'
 
What had happened here? My head felt as if it had been on ice for a while.
And why was a small giggly voice inside my head telling me to jump around?
Why was it calling me, "Mowgli"? I shook my head...dance naked? Undignified?
Sure. But I shrugged my shoulders. What the hell, who was going to see me do
anything? Roopa was away for a bloody Feng Shui course!
 
Feng Shui? Feng fucking Shui?! Flashbulbs exploded in my brain and I held on
to the phone for support. Feng Shui? Vaafuckingstu? Yoga? Art of fucking
living? Earth Mother Circle? Clan of the fucking Cave Bears?
 
There is no need to reply in any way. I shall not be visiting your Blog, but I am sure your friends (I wonder what you say behind their backs?) will send you lots of congratulatory comments to help you on with your next cause.
 

Unknown said...

Nicholas Horsburgh, Sir, I salute thee for throwing light on this despicable woman.
I actually looked heavenwards and thanked God, after reading your response on the cockerel crow's jibber-jabber, which her friends,husband,and herself call as prose and poetry!
Psychos like these so-called 'evangelists'/'poets'/self-proclaimed queens of literature and whatnot...need people like you to reprimand them from time to time.
If only you give a piece of your mind to the husband unit too...who is another self-aggrandizing,manipulative,vituperative,vilifying,condescending,womanizing,and somewhat on another crusade of the fucking kind! Thats another travesty in itself!But I understand you have a life and have greater thigns to do.But alas,he goes unscathed yet again!

Lastly, despite knowing that you won't read a ludicrous nazi's blog anymore...I wish you saw how much I wish to thank you for bringing this dark soul to the fore...for the benefit of the world to see the truth!

(I even suspect that this post will be 'conveniently' deleted.And I won't wonder why!)

Once again,
Thanks a ton & God Bless!
You're an angel.

Unknown said...

Nicholas Horsburgh, Sir, I salute thee for throwing light on this despicable woman.
I actually looked heavenwards and thanked God, after reading your response on the cockerel crow's jibber-jabber, which her friends,husband,and herself call as prose and poetry!
Psychos like these so-called 'evangelists'/'poets'/self-proclaimed queens of literature and whatnot...need people like you to reprimand them from time to time.
If only you give a piece of your mind to the husband unit too...who is another self-aggrandizing,manipulative,vituperative,vilifying,condescending,womanizing,and somewhat on another crusade of the fucking kind! Thats another travesty in itself!But I understand you have a life and have greater thigns to do.But alas,he goes unscathed yet again!

Lastly, despite knowing that you won't read a ludicrous nazi's blog anymore...I wish you saw how much I wish to thank you for bringing this dark soul to the fore...for the benefit of the world to see the truth!

(I even suspect that this post will be 'conveniently' deleted.And I won't wonder why!)

Once again,
Thanks a ton & God Bless!
You're an angel.